Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
