im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
