It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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