My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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