Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
