Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
