How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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