I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
