dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
