do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
