You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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