we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
How's work?
Spinning.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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