She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
