if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Someone shit on the floor
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
