I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
