i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
there is puke in my bra ... again
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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