We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
