I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize
