wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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