um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
