that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
