just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
