I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
