sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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