My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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