Nicole vs. Life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
