You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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