they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
