I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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