Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
this is an emotional support booty call
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
