you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
