I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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