Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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