Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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