Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
