just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
