will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize