dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
