Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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