You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
