That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
