i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
