I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
