you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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