well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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