She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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