We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
