im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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