Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
