Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
