how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
