i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize