...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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