i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The ass gains better be worth it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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