Kiss
Puke
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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