her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
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