Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
