Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
