trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
