The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
