you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
