Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
