There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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