I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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