just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
