Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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